“I’m not going to come!” he ejaculated.
“That’s the day you won the cricket match,” she chirped.
Dialogue in fiction should be reserved for the culminating moments and regarded as the spray into which the great wave of narrative breaks in curving toward the watcher on the shore.
As wonderful as that quote is, for a more practical overview of dialogue mechanics, see chapter 5 of ‘Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to edit yourself into print’ by Renni Browne and Dave King.
Here is a summary:
There is plenty of room for poetic licence in fiction but when it comes to punctuating and attributing dialogue, there are rules. First, some technical terms…
1. DIALOGUE ATTRIBUTION
How the writer lets the reader know who is saying what.
‘I gotta take a leak,’ he said.
‘Wait here,’ she whispered.
2. A BEAT
A bit of physical action that lets us know who just spoke and also a little bit about what’s going on.
‘The spuds are boiling over.’ Mary turned down the element.
‘Did you just fart?’ He pinched his nostrils between his forefingers.
1. Don’t use adverbs in dialogue attribution.
‘Bugger off,’ she said
‘I love you,’ she said
If the dialogue itself doesn’t show the emotion then make the dialogue better.
2. It’s ‘Tom said’, not ‘said Tom’. Unless you’re writing children’s books, that is.
3. Dialogue attribution comes AFTER the dialogue, not before.
Tom said, ‘Did you just fart?’
‘Did you just fart?’ said Tom.
4. Don’t get fancy with synonyms for ‘said’.
A writer can get away with a bit of asking and whispering but, most of the time, ‘said’ does just fine. This verb is not subject to the rules applied to other verbs ie choose the most descriptive one and vary it. ‘Said’, in dialogue attribution, should be treated more like a form of punctuation. It goes under the radar of readers, allowing them to focus on the dialogue itself.
‘Did you just fart?’
‘The spuds are boiling over,’
5. When you find you’ve got too many ‘saids’ in your dialogue, leave out some of the dialogue attribution altogether.
This can be done by making use of beats. Put the beat on the same line as the dialogue and the reader will know who just said it.
There you have it. The five rules writing of dialogue, summarised.
1. a podcast by Roy Peter Clarke: ‘Use Dialogue as a Form of Action’
2. and this nugget of great advice from K.M. Walton
3. Dialogue – it’s not just talking, from Scott Egan
4. How to write effective dialogue in your novel from Bubble Cow
5. Are Your Dialogue Beats Repetitious? from Wordplay
6. Rhythm Of The Words: Voice In Dialogue from The Other Side Of The Story
7. Dialogue Only Has To Be True To The World Of Your Novel from Nathan Bransford
8. 9 Easily Preventable Mistakes Writers Make With Dialogue from The Creative Penn
9. Are You Responsible For What Your Characters Say? from Rachelle Gardner
10. 5 Tips For Creating Cheeseless Dialogue from Writers In The Storm blog
11. The 6 Most Common Mistakes Of Dialogue and How To Avoid Them from Beyond The Margins